Saturday, May 27, 2017

'90s Trash: Embrace of the Vampire (1995)

Alright, so is the Original any better?  Today's Film is Embrace of the Vampire, a 1995 Horror Film that is more notable for other stuff besides scares.  Basically, this was one of many vehicles for a now-adult Actress to go 'Look- I'm grown up!  Cast me as an Adult!'  For other examples, see, well, just about every Poison Ivy Film ever.  Speaking of which, Alyssa Milano was in Poison Ivy 2 because of this Film's success.  If you saw my Review of the 2013 Remake, you mostly know the Plot.  Young girl, Private School, Vampire and Nudity.  This one is a bit different, so belated kudos to the Remake.  The basic Plot is still the same just with a few differences that I'll highlight.  To find out whether or not this has more than just Alyssa Milano's boobs (as nice as they are), read on...
In some random Exposition (that comes after long opening Credits), this guy has a trist with a Royal Lady (or something).  Afterwards, he just lays there in the Forest (for some reason) and is converted by 3 topless Vampire Ladies!
He then exposits- to nobody- that his long life will come to an end in 3 days if he doesn't convert Milano.  Why 3 days?  That's when she turns 18.

In other words, this Film makes a point of sexualizing a '17 year old' (Milano is 23 here FYI).
In addition, he has to make her want him, as opposed to just taking her...which he can apparently just do quite easily.  Got all of that?
Milano is an Art Student who was quite literally cloistered until recently and 'repressed.'  Yes, this is her Poison Ivy 2 Character.

She's still a Virgin, although possibly not for long.
To help convert her, the Vampire destroys her cross (by simply holding it!) and replaces it with an Ankh.  Her friends accidentally help as they try to 'loosen her up.'
Well, she does so a little bit after many random visions (not scary ones like the Remake) and...the same bit of basic Fan Service.
The visions continue, now including her boyfriend and the girl from above.

Interesting note about this Scene.  The vein on Martin Kemp's head is not make-up.  He actually had a Brain Tumor that he wasn't aware of!
Oh and Jennifer Tilly is in this for a few minutes.  I just thought that you should know this.
Can our Heroine save herself from corruption?  Can her love last?

In spite of the Vampire suddenly shooting lightning (really), the answer is...yes.  Anti-climax ahoy!
Silly, Cinemax-y stuff.  This whole thing is pretty forgettable save for the obvious stuff.  The whole thing is very melodramatic.  Everyone tries to act like this is all super-serious stuff.  Honestly, it really isn't.  A Vampire waits until an arbitrary deadline to try and convert a co-ed.  That's it.  It has all sorts of silliness happen, from Ankhs that glow blue to disintegrating crosses to telepathic Vampires.  I guess he's telepathic, since he seems to appear to her and nobody else.  Do they explain this?  Nope.  They also don't explain how 3 Students go missing and nobody bats an eye either.  The whole thing is a pretty loose Story to connect a bunch of Scenes of Nudity.  Let's not pretend otherwise, alright?  As far as that goes, no complaints.  The whole thing is just so shallow, in spite of them slapping 'The Nosferatu Diaries' on the Title.  Just like The Mermaid Chronicles (aka She-Creature), there is no other Film in the 'Series' that I can find.  If you watch this for the reason that most people do, I suppose you won't be disappointed.  Just don't expect a complete and total Film to go along with those Clips that are probably online anyway.
Next up, some random nonsense that has been building on my Computer.  Most likely, Japan is involved.  Stay tuned...

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