Saturday, December 5, 2015

Quick Reviews: The Gallows

Oh Lord, I decided to do this to myself, so....I might as well review it.  Hang around, won't you?
Back in 1993, somebody's Uncle filmed a School Play from the worst angle possible.  A guy dies...since people wait about 30 seconds to see if that noose around is neck is dangerous.
After about what feels like 6 hours of set-up (actually about 20 minutes), some assholes break into their High School at night to wreck the set of the play- the same one that killed that dude 20 years earlier.

However, weird stuff starts to happen.  For example, this TV cues up Local News Coverage of the Incident...somehow.  Ghosts...I guess.
Soon they find out that they are being targeted by someone dressed like the Hangman from the Play.  Of course, the dead guy wasn't playing that Role, so...logic.

Oh and don't let me trick you into thinking that any of this is interesting.
Will any of them make it out alive?
Or will the vengeful Spirit kill them?

As a bonus, will the Film really muddle up the Found Footage conceit with a post-Climax Scene that raises about 1,000,000 questions?  The answer to that one is 'Yes.'  The End.
Whoever Found this Footage, please take it back!  Sorry- I can't muster the good jokes for this kind of thing.  It...just sucks.  The Characters are all pretty much unlikable.  The Story is unoriginal.  The Setting is underwhelming.  The message is confusing.  The whole thing just...well, sucks.  It says alot that the Film was made in 2014 and then tossed out in Theaters in 2015.  That might explain why the Film is set in 2013.  The Film gets some negative points for giving us the 'This is Police Footage' thing too.  It sure was nice of the Police to spend their money Editing this Found Footage from multiple cameras together!  Budget Shortfalls be damned!  This is especially-confusing given the Film's ending, but that's all I'll say about that.  I will give them some minor credit for a few decent moments, but they are so lost in the mess of the Film.  It is almost worse to give me good moments when everything else is so bad.  Makes sense, right?  Alright- good.  In summary, crap.
Crap.  Just...just crap.  Lots of red though.

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