Monday, December 7, 2015

New Flix: Insidious- Chapter 3

Alright- this is the last one, right?  I've said that after every Paranormal Activity Film and I haven't been right yet.  Today's Film is Insidious: Chapter 3, a Title that is kind of a lie all things considered.  You know the drill by now, right?  This is the 3rd Film in a Horror Series made after the year 2000, so it is, of course, a Prequel.  Why does this keep coming up exactly?  The best I can figure is that Directors and/or Writers basically 'blow their load' with 2 Films and have nowhere to go.  They've killed off Leads (like Insidious did) and/or written themselves into a corner (Paranormal Activity).  What else is left if you want to make more money?  Set your Film before the others, of course, and try to maintain tension somehow.  As a bonus, you get to explain things that don't need a back-story and pat yourselves on the back for a deed 'well done.'  This time around, we learn the never-before-or-since mentioned back-story on Elise, meet some person that has no impact on the other 2 Films and learn more about the Director in his distracting Role.  Yes, Leigh Whannell has moved up to Directing here.  Good for him, but bad for me.  Is this one a unique trip for the Series or a mediocre follow-up?  To find out, read on...
In the Cold Open, a young woman (our Heroine) meets with Elise to talk to her dead Mom, but she won't.  It has something to do with an evil Spirit she never mentions in the 1st Film.  Yea?
She lives with her Dad and Brother, but can't get into some Actor School.  Thanks for letting me know all of your First-World Problems...bitch.
While staring at a Ghost (or something), this asshole hits her with his Car.  She isn't moving, so he saw her, picked up speed and never remotely-slowed down before impact.
Now with 2 broken legs, our Heroine is stuck at home.  At this point, the Ghost starts going after her full-force...every few hours or so...sometimes.
Meanwhile, Elise thinks about helping...but the Ghost apparently has enough free time to haunt her on the side.  That Time Management Class is paying off!
The Ghost finally makes a big move...for about a minute.  Its plan is all sorts of confusing, right?

Just do it already!
Eventually, Elise shows up to help (after a Cameo from that other guy from Insidious: Chapter 2) and this all feels very familiar...
Those morons who try to catch Ghosts (Hi, Director!) end up at the House along with her and...well, don't help at all.
Can the girl be saved or is all hope lost?  No SPOILERS, but...well, you know.  The End.
Meh.  This is just more of the same.  Spooky noises, random sights, concerned parents and more of the Further.  This really is just every James Wan Film.  Much like Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, the guy doesn't even have to Direct it for it to like his Films!  No, he was too busy making the dumbest Film of the Year- Furious 7- to work on this crap.  I guess the Studio couldn't mandate another one of these out of him this year.  Whannell doesn't totally drop the ball here, but there's not much here to sell you.  Pointless back-story is all that is really new.  Oh no, will Elise be a Hero?  Well, this is a Prequel, so...yes.  They draw it out, but we all know where this shit is going.  There are some nice visuals here...but not enough to save things.  By now, this kind of thing is just so route and obvious.  Stuff that is supposed to be a shock is just, well, not.  Making your Villain out of a dead old man (wasn't he in Insidious: Chapter 2 chasing kid Patrick Wilson) wasn't a good call.  Speaking of bad calls, can they make up their minds about the villain from Insidious: Chapter 2?  It was a lady in Insidious, revealed to be a different-looking guy in Chapter 2 and now it is a woman again!  Unless this is just the Mom (who has a mean back-hand), I'm confused.  I also don't care.  Here's James Wan trying to be Hitchcock...
Next up, some more new Horror from around the world.  What kind of Film could be next?  Stay tuned...

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