Thursday, June 11, 2015

Project Terrible: Breeders (1997)

I'd do my original pick, but I'm sadly not fluent in Russian.  Since I couldn't find an easily-available copy of Michele's choice (Crimson Force), I'm doing this back-up pick.  In a way, it is kind of fitting.  Today's Film is Breeders, specifically the 1997 Version of the Film.  I say that since this is apparently a Remake of a 1987 Film by the man who brought us Mutant Hunt and The Occultist.  You may get that one later, Michele.  So why is this one fitting?  Well, it is by the same man who made Grim.  On the plus side, this one has a 2.7 on IMDB, so it must be better.  Right?  The Plot involves an Alien Monster, some mutating and many explosions.  This should be something.  Given the Film's pedigree, you shouldn't expect anything great.  Will it end up being Terrible though?  To find out, read on...
A Meteor strikes the Earth, freeing some sort of creature and a scarred woman.  It ends up under a College Campus in Boston.  What are the odds?!?
This unnamed creature now lurks in the area.  It kills people when they get near the scarred lady.

Meanwhile, the Character Plot takes place.  It is just Teacher meets (and bones) Student.  That's it.
While setting up the main part of the Story- the creature killing and collecting in the Sewer-, the Film indulges in some shameless T&A.

Seriously, Roger Corman would even be like 'Hey- you don't need to show everything!'
To make a long story short, the creature kills a bunch of Cops, turns some co-eds into mutants (to create its spawn) and our Final Couple must save the scarred woman.
Unfortunately, our Final Girl is targeted as the new holder of its eggs (which is apparently different from being pregnant).  Our Hero takes out the monster with some shotgun shells filled with alien deus ex machina crystals and an explosion.

As they celebrate, more Meteors appear to strike the Earth.  Hurray for dark endings!
It was slightly-less Terrible than the other one.  Low bar- I know.  This time, the Monster/Suit looks cooler and you get to see it more often.  Since it is an entirely-Practical Effects Creature, there are shots that they have to play with a little to keep the illusion.  Either way, Practical Effects!  Mind you, I know that this would have had CG in it if it was made like 2 years later and had a bigger Budget.  One thing I will say against the Film is that it commits one of my many Movie Sins- a lying Title.  Breeders?  There's only one Alien.  I guess you could say that the mutated co-eds were the Title Characters, but...come on now!  Like Elves, there is just one creature.  Boo.  One thing that also stands out is how similar this feels to Grim.  Instead of a mythical Creature, it is an Alien.  Instead of a Cave System under a Housing Development, it is the Sewers under a Campus.  Other than that, it feels really, really similar.  This may not be Paul Matthews' fault (if he had no say in the Story), but it is hard to miss.  This is not an especially well-made or interesting Film.  I found myself wondering when they were going to explain the Creature's origin and then BAM they just dump all the info at once at about the forty-five minute mark.  Build-up- what's that?!?  This one is generic and it is bad, but the Suit Design and silly Story keep it from being Terrible.  Now as for the original, who knows...
Next up, I switch gears for a bit to cover an obscure Action Film I finally saw.  Before he got an Oscar, our Lead was in so-so Action fare like this.  Stay tuned...

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